Merry Christmas

CHRISTMAS FAIRY

I am a little fairy

On tap o' the Christmas Tree

It's no' a job I fancy

Well how would you like tae be me

A tarted up wi' tinselI

t's enough to mak ye boak

An a couple o' jaggy branches

Rammed up the back o' your frock

An' these wee lights a'roon me

I canna get my sleep

An' there's the yearly visit

Fae Santa - Big fat creep!

On Christmas Day I'm stuck up here

While you're a' wirin' in

An' naebody says "Hey you up there

Could you go a slug o' gin?

It's nae joke bein' a fairy

The job's beyond belief

You've got to go roon' the wean's beds

An' lift their rotten teeth

But o' a' the joabs a fairy gets

An' I've mentioned only some

The very worst is sitting up a tree

Wi' pine needles up yir bum

When a' the fairies meet again

By the light of' the silvery moon

Ye can tell the Christmas fairies

They're the wans that canna sit doon

The Christmas tree's a bonny sight

As the firelight softly flickers

But think o' me I'm stuck up here

Wi' needles in my knickers

So soon as Christmas time's right by

An' I stop bein' sae full o' cheer

I'll get awa back tae Fairyland

An' I'll see yous a' next year.

Hugs, Dawn